


only fools rush in.

by lordvoldyfarts



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 07:05:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2498984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordvoldyfarts/pseuds/lordvoldyfarts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Laura's fight with Danny, Carmilla decides to take it upon herself to ensure that Laura doesn't feel sad. So instead, she makes her angry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	only fools rush in.

**Author's Note:**

> Just some post ep-24 reaction fic! Will be totally AU by the time 25 airs.

The crying doesn’t start until Laura assumes Carmilla has gone to sleep.

It’s just sniffles to start. Carmilla only hears it because she has her ears tuned to Laura (to listen to her heartbeat; it helps her fall asleep). Laura is facing the wall and away from her. Carmilla rotates in her bed so she’s facing Laura’s back. She sees her shoulders shaking. She’s curled up in a ball and the harder Carmilla focuses, the clearer it becomes that it’s not just Laura’s shoulders. Her whole body is shaking with silent sobs. Carmilla recognizes the position, it’s one she’s spent her fair share of time in. The crying doesn’t get louder and Carmilla decides that she’s already intruded on one private moment of hers today, the least she can do is turn around and let the girl cry without an audience. She clenches her eyes closed and tries to focus on the sound of the tree branches hitting the window so she doesn’t hear Laura’s sobs.

-

The next morning, Laura is awake before the sun rises.

Carmilla only knows because her own eyes fly open when she hears Laura’s gasp as she stumbles over something. Laura is quiet and Carmilla doesn’t want to shift or make noise, so she decides she can figure out what the culprit is later. She hears the wheels of Laura’s chair against the floor then the sound of her computer turning on. There’s nothing after that for a few moments – not until Carmilla hears the muffled sound of Laura’s voice. It takes only a second for Carmilla to realize that she’s rewatching her videos. In particular the videos that feature Danny. The sniffles start again.

Carmilla moves so she’s on her stomach now – her bed squeaking as she does. The sniffles stop. She waits. The video keeps going but the sniffles don’t start again. Carmilla’s glad because she’s realizing that hates the sound.

-

When Carmilla finally rolls out of bed, Laura is still sitting in front of her computer. Carmilla stretches her arms over her head and her mouth opens in a yawn. “G’mornin’” She croaks, sleep still peppering her voice. Laura doesn’t turn her head but she looks at her out of the side of her eyes.

“You’re up early.” She comments, her eyes going back to her screen. Carmilla shrugs.

“Am I?” She responds apathetically. She stands up, hovering near Laura’s shoulder. On the desk she spies the wooden stake that Danny had ‘heroically’ held up to her during their…altercation yesterday. Carmilla remembers that it had rolled off of Laura’s bed when Carmilla knocked it out of her hand. She remembers earlier that morning and it dawns on her that the stake must have been what Laura tripped over…and what inspired the impromptu rewatch. Laura turns and looks at her with her eyebrows raised.

“Uh, yeah. The sun’s still up.” Laura remarks, gesturing to the window where sunlight was pouring in.

“Thanks for memo. But my sleep schedule’s been a little screwed up since, you know, I was tied to a chair and unable to sleep regularly for two weeks.” Carmilla goads. She isn’t sure whether she’ll get a reaction this time or another rebuttal and excuse. Carmilla sees her tense up and then slowly release a breath. She swivels around in her chair to face Carmilla. She’s got anger, determination and just a smidge of exasperation written on her face. She gestures to her with her hands.

“I’m sorry, okay? It was wrong of me to tie you up and deprive you of sustenance for 9 days. It was even worse of me to keep you tied up after those 9 days were over. It was…horrible of me to do and I’m sorry.” She pauses and takes a breath, “Are you happy? Will you stop using it against me, and everyone else, now?” She finishes. By the end of the statement she is practically yelling and in the back of Carmilla’s mind, she knows this isn’t really about her. So she shrugs.

“For now. But your little blanket apology won’t cover them for long.” Carmilla sneers, putting as much malice in her tone as she can. Laura makes that familiar bunched up face and Carmilla knows she’s made her angry now. She bites down on her lip to keep from smiling. She walks away from Laura and says, “I’m going to the library. Try not to get snot all over the room while I’m gone.” She walks out of the door without shutting it and she hears a frustrated sigh just before she exits the building.

It occurs to Carmilla as she’s halfway to the library that if Laura’s angry, she won’t feel sad. A smirk pulls at the side of her mouth.

She makes sure she intentionally steps in a muddy puddle just outside their dorm before she goes inside.

-

Laura is, as Carmilla expects, furious when Carmilla trudges into the room with muddy shoes and no apologies.

She stands up and gestures angrily to the floor when Carmilla waltzes in and sits straight down on her bed, pulling her muddy shoes off and throwing them into the middle of the room.

“Are you serious right now?” She says, staring incredulously at Carmilla, who just shrugs and kicks her legs up on the bed.

“It rained last night. The ground was saturated. Not my fault.” She remarks, leaning back on her hands. She lets her hair fall between her shoulders and tilts her head back. Laura huffs. She takes a few steps closer to Carmilla.

“Oh no, you don’t just get to lay there. You need to clean that up. That’s dried mud _and_ it’s on my side of the room!” She exclaims. Carmilla purses her lips and opens her eyes just long enough to roll them.

“Well if it’s on your side of the room cutie, guess it’s on you to clean it up. I think you know where the mop is.” Carmilla gestures to the corner, where the mop is standing upright. Laura just stares.

“You’re ridiculous. And insufferable. Has anyone ever told you that? Honestly you behave worse than a toddler.” Laura reprimands. Carmilla reclines the rest of her body so she’s laying fully on the bed now. She turns over and crosses her arms underneath her head.

“I’ve been alive for over 300 years. I promise you can’t say anything to me I haven’t already heard.” She mumbles, her words muffled by her elbow.

She hears the familiar angry huff and the small noise of Laura’s feet hitting the ground.

She grins when she smells the orange brand of Mr. Clean.

-

She steals a whole box of Laura’s cookies.

She does it while Laura is at her lit class. She swipes the full box and cracks it open, tossing a cookie in her mouth just before Laura comes back into the room.

Laura stops in her tracks when she sees Carmilla with the full box on her lap. Carmilla looks at Laura with a questioning gaze.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. That was a brand new box! You could have at least waited to poach them until after I had _one_.” Laura emphatically claims. Carmilla just chews.

“Shouldn’t have left it out if you didn’t want me to take it. I assume anything in plain sight is fair game, cupcake.” She responds as she slowly takes another cookie and slowly puts it into her mouth. Laura rolls her eyes and drops her book bag on her bed. Carmilla’s eyes follow her. Laura flops down on her bed, throwing her arm over her eyes. They’re silent for a moment until Carmilla clears her throat.

“Do you want one?” She asks, shaking the box gently in Laura’s direction. Laura snorts.

“You’re really asking me if I want one of my _own_ cookies?” She says and Carmilla shrugs, before she realizes Laura can’t see her.

“Yeah.” She responds, like it’s the most obvious thing to ask. Laura sits up.

“Doesn’t it defeat the purpose of stealing them if you just end up sharing with the person you stole them from?” Laura asks. It’s Carmilla’s turn to roll her eyes.

“Do you want one or not?” Carmilla impatiently responds. “Because it would be of no inconvenience to me to devour this whole box on my own.” Laura loudly sighs. She stands up and walks over to Carmilla’s side of the room. She sits next to Carmilla’s folded legs and reaches into the box for a cookie. She twirls it between her fingers, breaking in in half. Carmilla raises her eyebrows. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to play with your food?” Laura jumps, looking up at Carmilla. She offers up a small shrug but no response. “Cat got your tongue?” Carmilla asks when Laura remains silent. There’s a lengthy pause but Laura looks up and she must see something in Carmilla’s eyes because her shoulders relax.

“Today was my first lit class since…well, you know. It was just weird. She wouldn’t even look at me.” She states. She looks down and away from Carmilla, who purses her lips. She knew that, that’s why she had stolen the box of cookies. She’d hoped Laura would be angrier and less apathetic about the whole thing. As Carmilla looks at her, she notices just how small Laura looks. She’s a tiny girl, short and compact, but she tends to carry herself…bigger. Like a force of nature just waiting to be reckoned with. But right now, she’s hunched over, biting her bottom lip, with hair falling in front of her face and she might as well be five inches tall. Carmilla feels the urge to wrap her arms around her shoulders and pull the girl close to her chest. Offer Laura her own shoulder to cry on. Feed her cookies and chocolate until her back straightens. Kiss her until her frown disappears.

But that isn’t her place, though she wishes that it was.

So instead she extends her leg out from underneath her and pokes Laura on the hip with her toes. “Forget about her. You don’t need the ginger bumpkin. You should’ve just let me keep my hand on her throat.” She says very nonchalantly, taking another cookie. Laura’s head shoots up and she glares at Carmilla.

“Just because Danny and I aren’t….whatever we were before, doesn’t mean I don’t still consider her a friend. I, by no means, would want her dead at your hands. Or because of your hand.” She retorts angrily. Carmilla rolls her eyes.

“You’re angry at me for being on your side? That sounds a little bit ridiculous, princess.” Laura stares at her, her jaw open and her eyes wide. Her back is straight now and there is fire in her eyes.

“You call that being on my side? Threatening my friend with a violent and terrible death? I don’t want my friends to be harmed at all, that’s been the whole point of all of this!” Laura speaks with more intensity and passion than Carmilla’s heard in over a day and she knows she’s achieved her goal.

“Fine. No need to get testy, it was just a joke. A poorly executed one, but a joke nonetheless.” She explains it away simply and Laura lets out a breath. She’s still angry – her cheeks are still red and her nose is still scrunched.

“You really need to update your sense of humor.” Laura grumbles and Carmilla shrugs.

“Maybe you need to learn how to take a joke.” Carmilla fires back. Laura doesn’t respond. Instead, she shoves one of the cookie halves in her mouth. They’re silent for another minute before Carmilla looks at the clock. She has a seminar in five minutes and she knows she ought to leave, so she stands. She puts the box of cookies next to Laura’s leg. “I have seminar. I’ll be back before the sun goes down.” She says and she picks up her bag and turns toward the door.

“Hey Carmilla,” Laura says and Carmilla pauses. “When I say my friends, you’re included in that too, you know that right?” Carmilla grimaces. She turns her head halfway.

“Sure I do, cupcake, sure I do.” She says resignedly. She walks out of the room without another glance toward Laura.

-

She puts the yellow pillow back on Laura’s bed while she’s in the bathroom washing her face.

Carmilla thinks that Laura is the one who needs it more than she does (and it had stopped smelling like her days ago).

She’s laying on her bed, a book of Whitman’s poetry open on her lap when Laura comes out of the bathroom, her hair up in a loose ponytail. Carmilla glances at her quickly over the book before reverting her eyes back to the words on the page. This before-bed look is Carmilla’s favorite. It’s the most relaxed and at peace Carmilla sees her and the Laura without the weight of the world on her shoulders is the one she adores the most.

She can’t help but watch as Laura approaches the bed. She pauses as soon as her eyes land on the yellow pillow. She turns to Carmilla, who moves her eyes back to the book so she doesn’t make eye contact.

“Since when do you give this back to me willingly? I usually have to take it back while you’re out of the room.” She inquires and Carmilla shrugs.

“Seemed like you needed it.” She responds distractedly, her eyes still on the page. She hears the squeak of Laura’s bed as she sits down. Carmilla looks at her out of the corner of her eye. She’s taken the pillow and held it up to her face. Her nose is buried in it, her eyes are squeezed shut, and if Carmilla didn’t know better, she would swear that she’s…sniffing it. But Carmilla knows that it’s wishful thinking on her part. She lowers the pillow after a moment and rests it on her lap. Her arms are over it and she’s smiling, really smiling for the first time in days. She looks up from where she was staring down at the pillow and Carmilla turns her eyes back to the page.

“Thanks. That’s….actually kind of sweet.” She says and Carmilla rolls her eyes.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, creampuff.” She responds, just a hint of desperation hugging her voice.

“Fine. I won’t tell anybody the big, bad vampire has feelings other than apathy.” Laura teases. She follows it quickly with a laugh and the moment that Carmilla hears it, her stomach drops and it feels like it’s been crushed with some kind of heavy metal. Laura pauses before she speaks again. “Really though, thank you for letting me have the pillow for the night.”

“Yeah, well maybe you can use it to smother your sobs so I don’t have to hear them when I’m trying to sleep.” She snaps and it’s an accident this time. She’s used to this – the fiery back and forth banter. She isn’t used to Laura’s slightly flirtatious tone and actual pleasant conversation so Carmilla does what she does best and she ruins it. She hears Laura’s long sigh and she bites her lip. Carmilla watches her out of the corner of her eye. She takes the pillow off of her lap and throws it behind her. She stands up and shuts the light without asking permission.

Carmilla closes her eyes and tries to clear her head. She throws her book on the ground and she reclines as much as she can. The room is silent and the air is heavy. She’s ready to tune into Laura’s heartbeat and lull herself to sleep when Laura speaks,

“Why are you being like this? I thought we were past all of the bitter remarks and rudeness?” Her voice is small and it _hurts_ Carmilla to know that she’s the cause of this. That she’s made Laura feel hurt. That feeling is the exact thing that Carmilla has been trying to prevent since the beginning of all of this. She sighs.

“Can’t change who I am, sweetheart.” She murmurs and she hopes that Laura will let it drop.

Of course, she doesn’t.

“This isn’t who you are, Carm.” The nickname washes over her like a bucket of ice cold water. Her skin rises and the blood underneath it prickles. It’s astonishing to Carmilla that Laura still has the ability to believe the best in her – even when she’s spent the past two days being the world’s largest pest. Silence falls between them again.

“Does this have anything to do with Danny?” Laura pipes up again after a minute of quiet.

“Why would any part of my behavior have anything to do with the jolly red giant?” Carmilla inquires, annoyance peppering her tone. She wants this conversation to be over. It’s Laura’s turn to sigh.

“It’s just....I don’t know, you just started acting like this after the fight.” Laura acknowledges and Carmilla doesn’t know to respond so she doesn’t. Laura doesn’t continue and the air becomes thick with words unsaid.

Until Carmilla breaks the silence.

“If you miss her, and I know you do; your sobs and your little video rewatch woke me up, just talk to her. If she’s smart, she’ll take you back in less than a heartbeat.” And there she goes again, dropping the tiniest of hints about how she feels. She knows Laura won’t acknowledge it, whether that’s because she intentionally ignores the words or because she doesn’t know _how_ to respond, Carmilla isn’t sure. Laura’s breath hitches and Carmilla wonders if maybe, this time, she’s decided to stop playing dumb.

“I’m not something that can be taken back. I’m a person, not property.” She mumbles. “And of course I miss her, she’s one of my best friends, but until she realizes that I’m not some Disney dream girl damsel in distress, we’ll never be anything more than that.” The last statement is pointed and Carmilla hears her loud and clear.

“Okay.” She says and this time, she’s the one who’s playing dumb.

-

Laura is gone before Carmilla wakes up the next morning.

She’d fallen asleep nearly hugging the wall and when she turns around, the yellow pillow is back next to her head. Without even a second thought, she grabs it and pulls it up against her face. The smell that Carmilla has come to adore washes over her and relaxes her like nothing else has the ability to. She hugs the pillow tightly against her torso, inhaling slowly and breathing in as much of Laura as she can. She stays like that for longer than she’d like to admit.

-

Laura walks in the room, smiling. Carmilla’s reading again and she looks up from her book with one eyebrow raised. “Someone hit you with a ray of sunshine today?” She asks because Laura is positively beaming. She shakes her head.

“I talked to Danny this afternoon.” Carmilla’s body goes still and her stomach drops to the floor. Her toes curl and she has to clench her teeth and count backwards from five to prevent herself from saying something horribly rude.

“Oh yeah and how’d that go?” She asks but the answer is obvious. She wants to kick herself for encouraging Laura to talk to the big red dog. Laura sits on her bed so she’s facing Carmilla. Her smile drops just a little when she sees Carmilla’s nearly translucent knuckles.

“Great. We had a good talk. She understands where I was coming from, that I needed to be able to fight my own battles without a twenty-four hour body guard. She wants to teach me how to properly use a stake but I told her that was unnecessary.” Laura explains and Carmilla’s eyes roll so far back that she’s sure Laura can only see the whites of them.

“Fantastic. Should we implement some kind of sock on the door policy so I know when to avoid this room like it’s a quarantine for the black plague?” Carmilla replies sarcastically. Laura sighs.

“No – actually, we agreed that we need to be just friends for now.” Carmilla looks up now and Laura is staring directly at her with a look so intense, she’s sure that if she could blush, she would.

“Good. Means I don’t have to give you back the pillow.” She says, trying not to let the relief seep through her tone. She sees Laura’s shoulders slump just a little bit and her eyes lose a little bit of dazzle.

“Yeah. Of course. The pillow.” She mumbles and she stands from the bed and turns toward the bathroom. Carmilla grabs her wrist before she can go far. She looks up at Laura, her eyes as honest as they’ve ever been, and she says,

“I’m glad you and Danny are only friends.” And it’s the most obvious she’s been since the night she was captured and she knows this can’t fall on deaf ears. Laura’s eyes widen just slightly and the tips of her ears burn red. Carmilla lets go of her wrist and Laura stands in front of her.

“Yeah, me too.” She says with a smile before she turns tail and heads into the bathroom.

Carmilla is left to stare after her, her mouth slowly pulling into a smile.


End file.
